Pacman Gains A Thug

Since the Titans drafted this decent football player/complete jackass in April 2005, Adam 'Pacman' Jones has been arrested twice and was involved with police on three other occasions.
After Jones was excused from practice with flu-like symptoms on Thursday, he was later found clubbing that night. The result: cited for spitting on a woman.
He is scheduled to appear in court on January 11 for the last time he allegedly hocked one up on a lady.
Jones, known for his desire to have "more thugs" on his team, may have found one last week. Fisher suspended linebacker Robert Reynolds for Sunday's game after he was charged with allegedly getting domestically violent with his estranged wife. Reynolds is known for violent outbursts, cite the incident in 2003 , while playing for Ohio State he jammed his fingers into Wisconsin quarterback Jeff Sorgi's throat and knocked him out of the game.

Big NFL Guy Assaults Little Girlfriend

Sean Locklear was suspended for one game as a result of an incident in January when the Seahawk lineman spent the weeekend in jail. A case of the 6'3" 301 pound tackle assaulting his girlfriend at a nightspot was resolved in July when Locklear agreed to perform two years of community service, obtain evaluation and pay court fees. This assault occured just hours after a playoff win. Maybe a good thing for his girl they won. Why it took Seattle so long to punish their cowardly tackle is a mystery, although Commish Goodell hasn't been in office long and might only now be catching up on past-issues of the NFL arrest reports.

Football: A Part-time Passion

How can you explain the Kansas City Chiefs thorough drubbing at the hands of the Steelers 45-7, only to turn around and defeat a much better Chargers team a week later? It's Passion, man.

Duval County Blues

Jaguars DE Bobby McCray likes to let off a little steam by impersonating an emergency vehicle.

Bengals Have Nothing On The Chargers

One rule to take away from today's professional athletes:
Always question a good thing.
It's a shame to have to put each and every tremendous body of work under such scrutiny. But 2005 NFL Defensive Rookie of the Year Shawne Merriman further emboldened such a interrogative philosophy with his latest four-game vacation. It was also reported that a source with knowledge of Merriman's two failed tests stated that the suspension was not for some minor over-the-counter infraction but was "definately for steroids".
Another 'feel good' story can now move over and join the Chargers infamous list with legendary ingrate Steve Foley, Terrence Kiel, Markus Curry and Shaun Phillips.

Out Damn Spot!

Exhibit A
Before this year, Kenny Rogers' had given up 21 earned runs and 32 hits in 20.1 innings of post-season play.
Exhibit B
During this post-season, Rogers, at 41 years old, has not given up an earned run in 15.1 innings and has only allowed 4 hits.
Exhibit C
During this post-season, Rogers has been taking the mound with 'crap' on his pitching hand in the exact same place.
Exhibit D
Kenny Rogers has issues.

You be the judge....

The Plot Thickens

Is it getting hot in here or is this just the case for Sebastian Telfair?

Clubs, Guns and the NBA

Another shooting, this time outside "Diddy" Combs' club in New York. Our main protagonist in this story was rapper Fabolous, who was shot and later arrested with his posse on weapons charges, two loaded guns being unregistered. But to our surprise, an NBAer was at the scene as well, no way!
Sebastian Telfair was outside the club when someone ripped off his $50,000 chain.
Next thing you know, Telfair was at the police station looking at four seperate lineups, each including Fabolous or some members of his crew. In the wisest move made in his short NBA career, Telfair did not finger any potential suspects, negating the future possibility of an unregistered weapon in the hands of a certain rapper's associate pointing in his direction.
By the way, this was Telfair's dumbest move in his short NBA career.

Career Highs

The Atlanta Falcons were touting the best running game in the NFL. Now we can attribute the success in some part to the sixth man, better known as the 'banned substance'. Starting guard Matt Lehr was suspended four games by the NFL for using either steroids of some type of ephedrine. Given that the offensive line of the Falcons is known more for speed than size, the money is on SPEED.

As well, Lions defensive tackle Shaun Rogers was getting a banned boost into two Pro Bowls. Apparantly, Rogers suffered from sleep apnea, which led him to oversleep the day of a game last season. It was also reported that this condition somehow led him to eating late at night, a definate no-no when you are fat, or a 340 pound defensive lineman. So Rogers went Romanowski and found his cure in an appetite suppressant, which normally contains the active ingredient ephedra. Now he's on a four-game vacation from the NFL.

Rogers had known that sleep apnea led to the death of Reggie White, so he went with a substance that likely assisted in the death of Corey Stringer...makes perfect sense, doesn't it?

Bulletproof?

In an effort to hinder the wheels of justice long enough to play out the 2006-2007 season, Green Bay wideout Koren Robinson plead not guilty to charges of driving drunk and topping 100 mph during a police chase this summer in Minnesota. To the NFL and commissioner Roger Goodell's credit, they suspended him anyway, feeling that while playing 'Speed Racer' he had been boozing it up, which was a violation of his probation for previous incidents with alcohol.
Maybe Goodell's antennae went up after reading this statement from Robinson in a Chicago Tribune profile. It was caught by City Pages writer Mike Mosedale after Robinson's suggested relapse into alcoholism earlier this year:
"I just want to make sure I'm good for the season before I put myself back in that lifestyle. In the NFL, when you lose, you feel real down and when you win, there's a lot of celebrating. I'm just making sure I'm bulletproof and being proactive."
Mosedale goes on to cite the 'Ten Stages of Drunkeness', written by sportswriter Dan Jenkins, wherein 'feeling bullettproof'' constitutes the final stage of inebriation. The entire list:

1. Witty and Charming
2. Rich and Powerful
3. Benevolent
4. Clairvoyant
5. Fuck Dinner
6. Patriotic
7. Crank up the Enola Gay
8. Witty and Charming, Part II
9. Invisible
10. Bulletproof
Get this guy a bus pass for life.

Has Anyone Seen Juan

Chicago's incredibly overpaid shortstop does not like anyone getting too close to his wheels. Two men apparently did, now Juan Uribe, his brother Elpidio and an unnamed bodyguard are under investigation for their alleged involvement in the shooting of a Dominican farmer and an Italian Naval captain. According to authorities, the victims walked too close to Uribe's Jeep, prompting Juan and his bodyguard to open fire on them with a handgun and a shotgun. The navy captain, Dondolin Alessandro, was treated for wounds to his stomach and hands. The farmer, Antonio Gonzalez Perez, had an elbow injury.
Whether Juan is found guilty or not, there is still one brutal crime he has committed. That of a .262 lifetime ballplayer cashing checks to the tune of $4.15 million from the 2005 World Series Champs. All while residing in the manager's doghouse for dogging it on the field.

Unspeakable

Thirty-four year old Cory Lidle leaves behind a wife and a seven year old son.

Lawrence of Insania

It looks as if Maurice Clarett's (possible) #1 role model is going away for quite some time. In revisiting Phillips' history of inane misadventures, society can breathe a collective sigh of relief that LP, this biggest waste of talent since Darryl Strawberry, did not permanently maim or kill anyone during his G-force accelleration downward on what seemed to be a bacon-greased spiral. At least he has honed his sandlot football prowess, in preparation to play in the Stoney Lonesome's real-life version of The Longest Yard.
From an All-American sure thing at Nebraska, to a whole new style of penal recruitment. Hello Muslim Extremists, my name is Lawrence Phillips. Here is my rap sheet, I mean, resume.

Candy is so 2005.
Put Leonard Little and Jayson Williams ($10.95) in that plastic Jackolantern pail.
Gratuitous advertising?
INDEED.

Peerless Priceless Posts

Haynesworth's Week Off In Review - Kiss Me Suzy
T.O. for Tots - The Mighty mjd

Upshaw Meet Goodell, Goodell, Upshaw

Not in the history of the NFL has the player's union had two dues paying members on each side of a lawsuit. Andre Gurode won't make it the first. How many phone calls do you think the Dallas center got from the league asking him to make this whole thing disappear?
Good on the Titans for trying to squeeze Haynesworth for some of his signing bonus. And look Adam 'Pacman' Jones, you almost beat the Super Bowl favorites with one less thug.
Oh Yeah, 'Pacman' how's that public drunkeness/disorderly conduct thing working out for you, or how about that little assault episode.

Kenoy Is No Koren

A foot injury sidelined Lions SS Kenoy Kennedy for Sunday's game. And as we know, in the NFL, idle time is headline time. Make no mistake, Kennedy is no Koren 'Burp' Robinson, this is his only known infraction in seven pro seasons. At least we can all thank Kenoy for not going Cullenator by keeping his clothes on.

The Band...er Paddywagon Grows

This circus makes 'Playmakers' look as if it was produced by the Walt Disney side of the conglom. The Holy Crap Award goes to Chris Henry for pulling the 4 in 3 in 10 (4 arrests in 3 states in 10 months). Very Andre Risonesque. He's now getting a 2-game unpaid vacation from the league. Warden Lewis can only ponder the thought of Henry and Odell Thurman spending a lot more quality time together. Looks as if Chris will be doing a lot less catching and a lot more tossing.
If your still scoring at home for the Sincinnati Bengal penal colony.

What Goes Up...

ode to Stephen Jackson

Stephen went a clubbin', to no one's surprise,
To smoke dope, view strippers through bloodshot eyes.
When out on the street, after havin' his fill,
Found someone's fist connect with his grill.


In a Blue Olds the assailant then fled,
And tried to clip Stephen, knock'em dead.
Bringing the baller to a state of such scorn,
Man, nothin' good happens at 3 in the morn.

Pulling his Nine from out of nowhere,
He squeezes five rounds off into the air.
A display few had before ever seen,
A Taliban wedding, it could have been.

All we can hope is that no one was around,
When those bullets rained back upon the ground.
Yet another issue of inane depravity,
By an insolent pro athlete who knows nothing of gravity.